Have you ever used these words – “Sorry honey, I’m just not in the mood”? If you’re of the female gender, you’ve probably uttered that sentence a time or two. But have you ever wondered why you’re not feeling up to a little nookie? It could be as simple as being too tired, or having a headache (yes, really having a headache). But if you consistently don’t want to do the deed, there may be other health reasons behind your lowered libido.

While many factors can play into a lacking sex drive, the following six reasons seem to pop up the most often. Once you’re aware of these “detractors” you’ll be much better prepared to combat them and get back on track in the bedroom.

Bedroom Barrier #1: Stress
Stress is becoming more and more of a factor in all sorts of health problems, including heart disease, weight control issues, and brain function. So it’s not surprising that it could also be a factor in your lost libido.

With all you deal with every day, from work to kids to cleaning the house and getting dinner on the table, it’s no wonder you feel a bit stressed by the end of the day. And, when you start looking to make the load a bit lighter, sex is usually one of the first things to go.

Quick Tip: Don‘t be afraid to ask for help. Even a little less on your plate can go a long way to get you to relax and be able to respond better sexually. If your partner knows that he’s more likely to get some action simply by loading the dishwasher or putting the little ones to bed, you can just about guarantee he’ll sign up for a chore or two.

Bedroom Barrier #2: Lack of Sleep
If you’re not getting enough sleep, chances are the only thing you’ll want to do in the bedroom is catch up on it. Did you know that women are twice as likely as men to have trouble sleeping? All that lack of sleep can have a huge impact on desire for a number of reasons.

• Too little sleep actually disrupts sex hormones like estrogen and progesterone. Without help from these hormones your sexual desire definitely moves to the back burner.

• Not enough Z’s can make you downright cranky. So not only are you not in the mood, you’re in a BAD mood.

• If your partner saws logs like a true lumberjack, you might be driven to sleep somewhere else. With that being the case, opportunity is a lot less likely to come a knockin’.
  
  Quick Tips:

• Make sure any medications you’re taking don’t interfere with sleepy time (by containing stimulants, for example). Additionally, check with your physician to see if a temporary sleep-aid might be beneficial to your situation.

• There are certain factors that cause people to snore more, like being overweight and consuming alcohol close to bedtime. Talk to your partner about changing any habits that might be causing him to keep you up at night.

• Make sure your bedroom is sleep-friendly. Invest in room-darkening blinds or curtains to block out light – even a small amount of light is enough to wake you or keep you from falling asleep. Don’t bring work into your bedroom, and turn off the television. You can even go as far as using a sleep mask and ear-plugs to block out light and noise.

Bedroom Barrier #3: Your Birth Control is to Blame
Taking measures to prevent pregnancy by using  hormone-based contraceptives such as pills, patches, rings or injections actually lowers testosterone levels and, in turn, libido.

Quick Tip: Talk to your gynecologist about switching birth control brands. In some types of pills, the progestin behaves more like testosterone and can increase your libido. Or, go with any number of other birth control options, such as a diaphragm, cervical cap, condom or IUD – all of which have no affect on your sex drive.

Bedroom Barrier #4: You’re on Medication
Birth control isn’t the only type of medication that can inhibit your sexual desire. A variety of other medications can also dampen your drive.

Beta-blockers (such as those taken for high blood pressure), valium and SSRI anti-depressants all can have a negative impact on your libido. Even OTC antihistamines can have a drying effect on your vaginal tissue.

Quick Tip: Talk to your doctor about switching your medication (i.e. beta-blocker or antidepressant), or even altering the dosage. Certain antidepressants, such as Wellbutrin, have fewer sexual side effects but can be just as effective.

Bedroom Barrier #5: Overactive Bladder
Say what? What does your bladder have to do with sexual desire? Well, you might be surprised . . .

Approximately one-third of women with overactive bladders “leak” during intercourse according to Jane Miller, M.D., associate professor of urology at the University of Washington in Seattle.  Miller explains that the bladder perpetually wants to release its store of urine and the only reason it doesn’t is because the brain is sending the bladder inhibitory messages telling it not to. But during orgasm those inhibitory messages may be overridden and as a result some women may release a small amount of urine.

Even in the most understanding relationships, it’s easy to see how it might be a bit embarrassing if this happened to you, and it’s natural that you might feel tentative about having sex if you’re worried it could happen again.

Quick Tip: Always hit the bathroom before the bedroom and you should reduce your chances of a leak. In addition, you can also talk to your doctor about getting a prescription medicine to treat your overactive bladder.

Bedroom Barrier #6: Menopause
Yes ma’am, the change of life can have a significant impact on your sex life. Once you hit menopause, you lose about 90 percent of your estrogen – the sex hormone largely responsible for arousal and lubrication. As your estrogen levels drop, vaginal tissue thins and dries out, which makes sex less gratifying and sometimes downright painful.

Other aspects of menopause can have an affect on your libido as well, simply by making you feel less than sexy. Hot flashes, mood swings and weight gain can all make you feel less desirable.

While menopause usually begins in your early 50’s, other factors such as certain surgeries and chemotherapy can actually induce menopause at an earlier age – and menopause triggered by these other factors can actually have a greater effect on low sex drive. A recent study showed that 9 percent of women undergoing natural menopause reported a lower libido, while as many as 26 percent of women suffered from reduced sex drive when menopause was induced by these other factors.

Quick Tip: Practice makes perfect! Having sex increases blood flow to the genitals, and the more you have sex, the more you’ll want sex. You can also talk to your doctor or gynecologist about medications that can help make sex more comfortable, such as topical testosterone or estrogen-based creams and suppositories.

So now you know!

The next time you aren’t in the mood, take a moment to make a mental checklist. Are any of the above barriers a factor in your life? Addressing these concerns may go a long way in getting you back on track in the sack.

In "Libido: Lost and Found" find out what might be keeping your guy from wanting to get it on.